Real Dogs Don't Eat Carrots
by Devka
Summary: Based on a challenge from babecakesrus, this is a short written from Bob's point of view.


Thank you for editing this for me Kashy, as always you are wonderful!

At babecakesrus at yahoo (see my profile for an address), we have a weekly word challenge to write a story, any length, any pairing, any rating, containing carefully chosen words.

This week, we're to use the following words in no particular order:  
tissue - carrots - DVD - bill - boom box – cap

**Real Dogs Don't Eat Carrots** – By Devka aka Jeannie

This is a Bob story

I perked up my ears as I heard the motor of Cupcake's car as it rumbled up the street. I knew it was her car because no other motor had the deep, thunderous hum like hers did.

I stood up and stretched, yawned and shook out my fur in an attempt to make myself more presentable. I was waiting by the door with the appropriate amount of drool dripping out of my mouth as she parked at the curb and stepped out of the metallic beast she called Big Blue.

Even from here I could smell the delectable scents of donuts and fried chicken emanating from her body.

She always smelled good. Sometimes she smelled like pizza and other times she smelled like pot roast, but whatever her scent was, she always smelled good enough to eat.

I jumped up on her as she walked through the door showing her just how much I adored her. I panted and looked into her eyes, wondering if she really knew how much I loved her as she scratched behind my ears with her unnaturally long, beautiful claws. "Have you been a good boy today?" she asked me.

I winked at her and thought 'define good boy,' knowing Joe would never find the mate to his new socks. I couldn't help attacking and eating the sock. I actually did him a favor. It smelled offensive and had to be destroyed.

Cupcake is a great hunter and deserves to be with the alpha male, Joe. She never failed to return to the den with her prey tucked neatly into a paper bag.

I followed her into the kitchen and watched as she unpacked the bags, all the while wondering what she had brought me. I watched as she put carrots in the cold box, and knew those were for the rodent. Real dogs don't eat carrots.

My eyes lit up when I saw her pull a can of meat from the bag, opened it and poured it into my bowl. I didn't have to sniff twice. She would have never put anything in my dish that I didn't like.

I was worried the rat would break free from his glass cage and steal my food so I scarfed the food down in four bites.

It sure was good. I wished I had some more so I decided to go hunting and see if I could be as great a hunter as Cupcake is. I trotted to the door and stood there for a moment, when she didn't see me, I whined just a little to get her attention.

My eyes lit up when I saw her grab the leash from the hook on the wall. The only time she ever grabbed the leash was when she was coming with me. I loved it when we hunted together as a pack. It increased our chances for success.

I wagged my tail to show my enthusiasm and promised her with my eyes that I would show her a really good time. We would run and jump and roll around on the sweet grass until our coats were shiny and smelled like the earth.

She grabbed some plastic bags from the kitchen cupboard and then stopped in the living room and grabbed a tissue from the box. She looked at me and seemed to think for a moment and then grabbed a whole wad of tissues.

She stuck a baseball cap on her head and opened the door. Lo and behold, a demon was coming up the sidewalk. I bolted out the door and was immediately pulled back on the leash.

Cupcake smiled at the demon. "Sorry about that, Mitch. I didn't see you coming up the walk when I opened the door."

The demon eyed me warily. He knew I what I was capable of. Just last week I had chased him for two blocks and I would have had him too if it hadn't been for Mrs. Bleazard's cat cutting across my path and startling me. "That's ok Stephanie," he said, "only one bill and a magazine today."

Cupcake set the mail on the sideboard and we left for our adventure.

I'm a pretty good tracker if I do say so myself. I sniffed at the ground and knew that Poochie Brodsky had tried to mark my yard as belonging to him. I'd show him! I cocked my leg and took care of Poochie's plan for global dominance in just a few tinkles. I scratched at the grass with my back paws to show any future intruders that I meant business.

Cupcake tugged on the leash letting me know that she was ready to go. I lurched and we began our trot down the street. I stopped frequently, marking my territory so I could let that old Poochie and any other dog know that they weren't the only dogs on the block.

Up ahead I spotted her, the love of my life. Her human called her Precious and she was just that...precious! Everything about her was precious to me, from her perfectly wet nose to her beautifully curled tail.

Her human was sitting on the porch steps listening to that horrendous noise from what Joe called a boom box, so even though I knew I shouldn't, I took a moment to visit with her.

I loved Precious with everything I had but I knew she could never be mine. She deserved more than I could ever give her.

Once when I was a young pup I went to the clinic for what Brian Simon had told me was just a check up, I went in completely normal and healthy in every way but when I came out I was missing something near and dear. I tried to tell Simon what had happened but he didn't seem to care.

I knew right away that I'd never be able to give Precious or any other female what every bitch wanted, a litter of younglings and I accepted the fact that I was forced into living a life of celibacy.

Of course since I couldn't relieve my stress level by mating, I had to find a way to compensate. Eating abnormal amounts of food and furniture helped curb my appetite most days.

Precious trotted up to the fence and greeted me with a flirtatious wag of her tail. We sniffed at each other and I smelled the desire she had for me. I know she told me that my accident didn't matter to her. She loved me for the dog I am, not the dog I should have been.

I slowly walked away from her, refusing to leave my mark in her yard. Someday she would find a deserving dog who could give her everything she wanted.

I kept my nose to the ground and continued my normal route around the neighborhood. We came to the corner and I tried to turn right, but Cupcake gave my leash a tug to the left and we headed across the street and into a small store.

Now this was my kind of store! It smelled like freshly popped, buttered and salted popcorn, Twizzlers, and Milk Duds!

I couldn't stop the drool that accumulated in my mouth and I let it drip onto the floor. I followed Cupcake up and down the aisles and watched as she selected a DVD. I hoped she got K-9.

When I grew up, I wanted to be Jerry. He was a tough old cop dog who knew how to take care of business.

Speaking of business, I suddenly had an intense desire to hunch over and leave my business in the middle of the aisle.

Cupcake saw my distress and after grabbing three bags of popcorn, a box of Milk Duds and what smelled like Junior Mints, she stopped off at the counter, gave the girl standing there some money and we left.

None too soon either. I hunched up and relieved myself.

Now here's something I'll never understand about humans. Cupcake used the wad of tissues and scooped up what I had left on the sidewalk and deposited it in a plastic baggie. I don't know why humans felt the need to save poop. It smelled foul and was something best left behind rather than scooped up and saved for prosperity.

Soon we turned and were heading towards home. I had serious plans for the evening sitting on the floor as Cupcake and Joe cuddled on the couch and watched the movie. I would stretch out across their feet and keep them warm and safe. No one dared disturb either one of them on my watch.

The End.


End file.
